What to expect when you’re not expecting…

Get your attention?  Well, it’s an impossibility that at the esteemed age of fifty that I would be expecting.  Also, I happen to be a lesbian and unless my girlfriend wants to do some heavy explaining about how this could possibly happen, I’m pretty sure I’m not gonna worry about it in the least.  Also, my ‘baby’ is 27 and I’m pretty sure this baby fat I’m trying to lose, isn’t gonna go away at this point…

Explaining this to doctors and nurses whose duty it is to ask the question, “Could you possibly be pregnant?” always elicits the humor inside me as I make them squirm.  I do point out the age factor (which, as the National Enquirer and other tabloids will tell you, IS possible.  Also, my doctor has told me about fifty-year-old’s who have had happy accidents at this point in their life.)  I hope to never have to worry about that.  The lesbian factor alone assures me that my birth-control methods should be safe, lol.  Plus, the fact that I’ve chemo and radiation should assure me that I’m sterile, but they did warn that the body is a wondrous healing organism and the forced menopause I went through in my thirties, fighting cancer, wasn’t enough.  In my forties, I went and had an ablation for the return of my period and the doctor KEPT warning me I could STILL get pregnant.  It actually angered me as I had told her of my lesbian status.  Instead, she kept harping on not only the fact that I could get pregnant, but that I could become pregnant when (not if) I was sexually assaulted (nice phrasing for RAPE~!).  To shut her up, I finally asked, ‘Do I have THAT to look forward to?”  It made her uncomfortable enough that she stopped harping on it and finally agreed to the procedure.  I’m still rolling my eyes on that.

The thing is, when you expect things, and the unexpected happens…which, is life…you can either learn to roll with the punches or fight against it.  I find it an adventure to see what’s about to happen next.  My books do that for me, I never know initially where they are going to take me or what they are going to say and do as my characters take over and I write avidly to find out.  I too am a reader, I can’t wait to see what they are going to do or say.

Fortunately for me, my characters talk a lot, in fact, I’m seriously considering writing a VETTED II as there are a lot of things that can still happen to these two, including, the subject of this blog, expecting.  So, expect some more from this exciting new adventure…

If you get a chance, check out my current offering:

And, look for this one, later this fall:

 

Cooking for One

Eating alone is not fun.  I frequently post on social media about my cooking mistakes and catastrophe’s.  I used to do it in the hope that some femme would take pity on me and I’d end up with a girlfriend who not only cooks, but would take care of me.

Fortunately for me, my girlfriend not only cooks but bakes, and enjoys doing so.  She even sends care packages that allows me to share in her baking endeavors.  I have yet to eat one of her prepared meals I hear about, but, someday, I know I will.  She is caring and loving and I know the same will go into her meals.

Those who think I can’t cook don’t realize it isn’t that I can’t, it’s that I won’t.  There is a distinct difference.  Cooking, when I do it, is terrible when there is only you, or your pets, to appreciate it.  As I no longer have pets, it’s even more lonely.  I actually can cook and do so with gusto when I have the urge.  I usually make too much and then end up with massive leftovers that I eat for days.  Another bad side-effect because you actually get SICK of whatever you prepare.  I try to freeze the meals into convenient one-meal sized containers.  Last fall I even bought a second set in order to make enough to last me.  It really did too, the meals lasted more than a month.

I have yet to prepare a meal for my girlfriend as the opportunity hasn’t arisen.  I do think of the meals I could prepare because she is a vegetarian and I, am not.  It should prove to be quite the challenge.  We shall see how that works out.  She never slips.  She’s healthy and slim and very dedicated to her life style…at least for a dozen or more years!  Now that’s dedication!

I write in some of my books about the meals, I actually research these things, not eating the meals themselves too often, but enough that it makes it feel real.  Many times as I’m writing it I find myself hungry.  It really is hard not to snack instead of eating a complete meal.  I frequently find myself eating smaller meals and more often, they tell me that is healthier anyway…right.

If you get a chance, check out my latest offering, cooking is a challenge for one of the characters and I can relate…

http://www.kannemeinel.com

Unexpectedly Funny

I think I’m funny, I certainly hope I am.  My family, and girlfriend, frequently tell me I’m not…but, that’s to keep me from becoming too big-headed, right?  Actually, I joke a lot, kid, and am sarcastically funny.  It’s inherited.  My mother was funny and I watched my older brothers being hilarious.  To survive, you had to develop a thicker skin and be able to sling the quips back with equal if not better smackdowns.  There is a fine line between being sarcastic and being insulting.  As a child, you frequently go over that line and get yelled at for it.  The phrase, “I was ‘just kidding’, is a familiar one, as you learn that delicate balance.

I think of humor as a coping mechanism.  I used to be a lot more quick-witted and before I got chemo-brain I had the comebacks down to an art.  I used to think I was as quick as Robin Williams.  That man was brilliant in how he would go off on a tangent based on something someone said.  I loved his ability to make something out of nothing and it was always funny.  I could do that, then.  I see it now in my son and wish I could have the snappy comebacks I once did.   I genuinely have humor-envy when those boys of mine get on a roll.  I do appreciate it.

My girlfriend tells me I’m funny in my own mind, which makes us both laugh when she says it.  Her humor is quite different than mine.  I don’t know if it’s because she’s a New Englander and I from the Midwest, but the cultural differences between us, the things we find out that are very different, are quite humorous.

When I am writing my books, I never set out to be deliberately funny, I’m fortunate that it comes out at the right time, or, at least, I hope it does.  I remember when I wrote Doctored, I thought of some really funny incidents that my character could tell about and used them.

“So these guys are lugging in my supplies on their backs and on donkeys, and I didn’t realize why I was tied up to the donkey.  You know, led by a rope?”  Deanna was regaling them with stories of her travels and they all smiled appreciatively at her description.  “It was as I slipped off the narrow trail face first into the mud and started sliding down the steep slope, hitting tropical plants with my unmentionables, that I realized…that rope that kept me from falling down the mountainside.  That was a good idea!”

They all started laughing, nearly choking on the beers they were sharing.  “Oh, my gawd, Deanna!  Did that really happen?” Magda wiped the tears away from the corner of her eye as she smiled at the story.

Deanna nodded.  “Yeah, I’ve been to some pretty funky places.  But you know what?  It’s one of the greatest things about what I do, seeing the sights.  When they hauled my ass back up with that taut rope, I looked at that donkey and the phrase ‘kiss my ass’ had a whole new meaning.”

They all collapsed into laughter again at her imagery.

I am told that my current release is amusing, loving, and dramatic.  I hope so.  The amusing part is a surprise because I didn’t set out to do that at all, but when I hear from fans that the book made them laugh out loud (LOL), it pleases me no end…even unintentional humor I’m all for.If you get a chance, I’d love to hear your opinion on my efforts at writing, and, apparently humor.

Check out Vetted here:

And, if you enjoy it, check out Doctored here:

 

 

I HEART LESFIC

The prolific K’Anne Meinel is here today. Woot! She’s offering free copies of Vetted, her latest release. One winner will be selected by I Heart Lesfic. To enter the giveaway hosted by I Heart Lesfic, scroll to the bottom of this post for details. There will be two additional winners, but you have to act […]

via Guest Post: Why Write Lesfic by K’Anne Meinel — I Heart Lesfic

Vetted

Allyssa is a young college student living her life to please her upper-crust family who want her to take business courses, join her father’s business, and marry the “right” man.  Allyssa loves animals and yearns to take courses that speak to her heart, but her family are deaf to her pleas and she is unable or unwilling to stand up to them.

Fiona is an older, more established woman; a veterinarian working towards the goal of starting her own large animal practice.  When a young woman arrives on her doorstep one night carrying a dog she may have fatally injured with her car, Fiona is thrown for a loop.

Vetted—a life that neither woman anticipated, but each learns they want desperately.

Will their families, the fates, and rustlers finally bring these women to their knees?  The only way they can survive is to stand strong together, but are they both ready to fight for what they want?  Only time will tell….

Available from these fine retailers:

and coming to these fine retailers soon:

and, if you want to buy it direct from my website, even SIGNED books, click here:

 

FREE BOOK!

Got your attention?  Who doesn’t like reading a FREE BOOK?  If you enjoy mystery, intrigue, a little murder now and then…then this offer is for you!  Get the first copy of the very popular MALICE series for FREE!  With 22 novellas in this series, there is plenty of story for you to feed your reading needs!  Follow along as you learn to like this serial killer series…maybe even love Alice!

Meeting a mysterious woman in a bar, Deirdre’s life begins to change.  Alice discovers the abuse that Deirdre has been experiencing at the hands of her handsome and powerful husband.  But what can a petite woman such as Alice do to help her out of this bad situation?  And what will she want in exchange for that help?

Wanna know how you get your FREE copy?  

1. You have to subscribe to this blog, see the little + sign in the lower right side of this screen?
2. Let me know by emailing me (although, all new subscribers I get notification of).  Current subscribers, send me a screen shot.  @ kannemeinel@aim.com
3. I send you the link to download your PDF, Mobi, or e-Pub copy.  

That’s it, it’s that simple.

I am hoping you become as hooked as many others have on this series that I have been working on for so many years.  Please let me know by leaving reviews if you do!

Thank you and good reading!