Today I’m sharing my blog with a friend and fellow author Alex Westmore. Alex turned me on (pardon the pun) to writing in the FIRST LGBT Kindleworld EVER on Amazon. She was fortunate enough to have many authors take one of her stories and create more stories using her characters. They went into space, they sailed the high seas, you may remember my own Sayyida…which was based on Alex’s own character in her book! I’d like to tell you a little about two of her books here (Click on her pictures to purchase the book(s)):
Red Spear
By Alex Westmore
Escaping a broken heart isn’t easy. Putting the pieces back together is even harder.
When Harper finds her husband in bed with another woman, she flies as far away from her crumbling life as she can. Although she signs up to volunteer for a village co-op in Egypt, a mishap lands her instead in the untamed wilds of South Africa. With new dangers lurking around every corner, Harper’s heart may not be the only thing that ends up broken, burned, and bruised.
She soon finds companionship in the company of a baby elephant who needs rescuing even more desperately than she does. But the unforgiving landscape and determined poachers could mean risking her own life to secure a better one for this new friend. Will Harper find a way to move to the rhythm of Africa? Or will this prove to be yet another off-beat adventure in her uncoordinated life?
And, most of all, why do her insides twirl whenever Sam draws near? For Harper, the answer could mean the difference between life and death, love or loneliness.
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The Pirate’s Booty
By Alex Westmore
Pirate Chicks, Lusty Wenches, Sword Fights and Plunder? What’s not to love?
When Quinn Gallagher’s childhood friend is abducted from a dock in Ireland, she’ll do whatever it takes to come to the rescue–even if that means dressing as a man and joining the crew of one of the most notorious pirate captains the world has ever seen.
Quinn soon finds there is much to enjoy living as a man, in particular the company of other women. When she finds herself falling hard for Lady Fiona, a woman far above her own station, she is torn between revealing her true identity and continuing the façade of being a male pirate. Love is never easy, especially in the sixteenth century and especially under false pretenses.
Can Quinn live with one foot in two different worlds, or must she consign herself to either the lusty life of a pirate or the loveless life of a noble woman? Come sail the high seas in this exciting and erotic adventure with the fierce pirate Gallagher as your guide. You’re in for a wild ride and may even score some booty along the way.
The first in a series of 6.
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Alex Westmore, aka Linda Kay Silva, is a 5 time award winning author of 35 novels ranging from police action (Delta Stevens Crime Log) to historical fiction (Plundered Chronicles). She is a literature professor at a military academy where she teaches everything from America, World, and British Literature, to Modern Epic Fantasy and Creative Writing.
When not writing, Alex is traveling around the world living a wild life of an adventurer and being the story collector.
And boy does she have stories.
Alex has lived in a haunted house, been on safari on the back of an elephant, jumped from an airplane, rode rapids, and taken many Harley trips. To get closer to the paranormal action of some of her series, she has spent time with Vodoun in New Orleans, medicine men in the Southwest, and a Shaman in the Amazon. She has been a cop, a sportswriter, an ostrich rider, and a partridge in a pear tree.
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And, for more Pirate titles, please check out my own (Click on the pictures to learn more about the titles and your various purchase options:
Did the title of this blog get your attention? If so, please subscribe 😉
A few years ago, The L Word came up with a fantastic episode where they began to discuss alternate words for THE VAGINA! See it here:
Well, I don’t know WHERE I came up with THIS list, I’m sure Google helped enormously, but I can’t tell you where it all came from, what site it came from, or, who to ‘thank.’ I would if I could. I’ve had it in a file on my computers for years. I thought it might help in my writing. Btw, I did not alter any of these words/phrases. As you can see by the list, it had to have had plenty of ‘male’ help. No offense to my male readers, but some of the names on the list are downright offensive to this WOMAN, and as a LESBIAN I find some of them equally disgusting if not more so. I will admit to not understanding SOME of them, because, well, read them and see why. I will also admit to the occasional blush.
But, a conversation arose on Facebook the other day and it was about certain words that are used in Lesbian Fiction. I thought, write a blog about words that some couldn’t handle IN THEIR FACE (Gettit? Lesbian’s, and in your face? I’m so punny). I mean, there is only so many ways you can describe some things, but some of the ways some writers have chosen to go about is downright hilarious. I am not making fun of anyone in particular, I am sure some of my ‘alternates’ have been funny to some, but come on people…don’t you have beta readers or editors who stopped you, or, at least, brought it your attention?
So, here is my gift to you my readers, followers, and other authors, in no particular order, ALTERNATE WORDS and phrases to the word VAGINA! Have at it and enjoy the hilarity. Comments are welcome, more alternative words and phrases will be welcome, and have a (pardon the pun) ball reading this, I know I did! Please reference the ‘helpful’ numbers I put in there for the words when talking about said ALTERNATE WORD. Also note that I had to ‘update’ my dictionary for ‘some’ of these words, rolling my eyes here…poor spell-check.
Pussy
Vag-gi-gi or Vag-ji-ji or Vag-jay-jay
bearded clam
vertical smile
beaver
trim
hair pie
bearded ax wound
tuna taco
fur burger
cooch
cooter
punani
snatch
twat
lovebox
box
poontang
cookie
hole
love canal
flower
nana
pink taco
cat
catcher’s mitt
muff
roast beef curtains
the cum dump
chocha
black hole
sperm sucker
fish sandwich
warmer
whisker biscuit
carpet
love hole
deep socket
cum craver
squeezer
slice of heaven
flesh cavern
the great divide
cherry
tongue depressor
clit slit
hatchet wound
honey pot
quim
meat massager
chacha
stinkhole
black hole of calcutta
socket
pink taco
bottomless pit
dead clam
cum crack
twat
rattlesnake canyon
bush
cunny
flaps
fuzz box
fuzzy wuzzy
gash
glory hole
grumble
man in the boat
mud flaps
mound
peach
pink
piss flaps
the fish flap
love rug
vadge
the furry cup
stench-trench
wizard’s sleeve
DNA dumpster
tuna town
split dick
bikini bizkit
holster
cockpit
snooch
kitty kat
poody tat
grassy knoll
cold cut combo
Jewel box
rosebud
curly curtains
furry furnace
slop hole
velcro love triangle
nether lips
where Uncle’s doodle goes
altar of love
cupid’s cupboard
bird’s nest
bucket
cock-chafer
love glove
serpent socket
spunk-pot
hairy doughnut
fun hatch
spasm chasm
red lane
stinky speedway
bacon hole
belly entrance
nookie
sugar basin
sweet briar
breakfast of champions
wookie
fish mitten
pocket
hump hole
pink circle
silk igloo
scrambled eggs between the legs
black oak
Republic of Labia
juice box
Golden Palace
fetus flaps
skins
sausage wallet
Holiest of Holies
sugar hole
The Death of Adam
home plate
Deer Hoof
Golden Arches
Cats Paw
Mule Nose
Yo Yo Smuggler
Mumbler (Aussie)
Dinner Roll
Crotch Waffle
Piss Fenders
crack Melvin
Dove Breast
Brakepads
Vedgie
Slurpy
Vacuum Vulva
Pastrami Flaps
Hot Tamaki Walk
Buffalo Gums
Rooster Jaws
Wagon Ruts
Beaver Teeth
Mumble Pants (Sweden)
Ninja Boot
Marcia (Aussie)
Skin Canoe
Fatty
Mossy Jaw
The Big W
Chia Hole
Lip Jeans
Beetle Hood
Hungry Minge
Sausage Wallet
Front Bottom
Welly Top
Frum
Pancake Fold
Tongue Roll
Bologna Flap-Over
Furrogi (Poland)
Fortune Nookie (China)
Bearded Taco
Calamari Cockring
Displabia
Slot Pocket
Bluntfrunt
Fishamjig
Pole Magnet
Pocket Pie
Clamarama
kitty cage
Chicken’s tongue
Conch shell
Crack of heaven
Dog’s mouth
Door of life
Fly catcher
Fruit cup
Jelly roll
Lobster pot
bunny tuft
knish
her neighbor
lotus
nappy dugout
moneymaker
womens weapon
tackle box
bone hider
red sea
pizzo
Jizz receptacle
The Helmut Hide-A-Way
hairy heaven
furry 8 ball rack
crave cave
arbys with fur
fish canyon
toolshed
snake charmer
Furby
Enchilada of love
Ham sandwich
Camarillo brillo
Brazilian caterpillar
dick rack boy in the canoe
flesh tuxedo
Mound of Venus
queef quarters
Venus butterfly
cooter
cream canal
poontang pie
wet mark
private area
thresher
punash
salami garage
tunnel of love
slurpee machine
pink cookie
penalty box
ground zero
meat crease
bait
birth canal
holy grail
pole hole
pork pie
fuzz bucket
one-eyed python trail
bubble gum by the bum
stink rink
theme park
saloon doors
pink truffle
bitter & twisted
burger bar
meat counter
temperamental ring piece
python syphon
big bud
the Wombsday Book
the condo downstate
snake lake
the indoor barbecue
pound cake
beef tomato
tickled pink
launch pad
horn of plenty
the indoor picnic
hamper of goodies
flapped bap
bonefish
close encounter with the turd kind
sperm bank
man’s charity bash
bush tucker midnight dip
the one-door vulva
the welcome opponent
the Twatlantic Ocean
temporary lodgings
field of dreams
bean
cooze
old catchers mitt
devil’s hole
lucy
pish buffet
pooswaa
poonaner
davey jones locker
pink panther
tinker bell
south mouth
dick eater
wonder bread
wolly bolly
foxhole
hot pocket
head catcher
Lawrence of A Labia
silk funnel
dick driver
purple people penis eater
meat curtains
ponchita
cherry pop tart
fat rabbit
s
pee jaws
mingus
The Notorious V.A.G.
stench trench
poon jab
nappy dugout
babyoven
penis parking
cooter muffin
the promised land
pocket
cha cha
the shrine
bitch ditch
fury pink mink
mammal hole
ever-lasting cum stopper
the toothless blow job
happy flappy
wilt chamberlian’s daily glove
the code defier
the salt water taffy factory
mommy’s pie
the easy bake oven
the deflower patch
the virginator
the schlong sucker
the dea bone patch
the vegetarian’s temptation
the vegan store
the blow hole
the pump protector
bag pipe
Spitball Bullseye
meat wagon
pickle stinker
jezebel’s smell
yoni
willys haven
scrumpter peach
sweat box
yeast pocket
penis warmer
tampon tunnel
penis pothole
cucumber canal
egg drop Box
sperm shack
dick dungeon
curator
b.o.b.’s bungalow
mommy parts
tuna pot pie
nice slice
peter vise
sock
rack of clam
peters grove
penis purse
grandest canyon
fish dish
banana box
tuna spread
pink portal
count fapula
red river gorge
happy valley
revolving in/out door
baby zipper
richards house
stop-n-pop
bone polisher
packin’ shack
wiener wrap
clap trap
camel toe
dildo hotel
axe gash
pearl hotel
sea food six pack
clam canal
coose canal
dick deposit
wand waxer
vidgie
erie canal
candy kiss
gauntlet
round mound of beehound
lick n’ stick
lap flounder
tomahawk chop
chin-chin
pachinko
ry pie
lip tip
the big casino
one eyed worm hole
amazon forest
cave
donut
coochie pop
babby
wet seal
pissy froth hole
bald biscuit
the unmentionable
man’s ruin
peeshie
hairy potter
courtney cocksleeve
panty hamster
deep pink
jaws of life
gizmo
faith
magnet
slippery slide
Meat tunnel
pink heaven
squid
dick basket
hot spot
poochika
pudding
bowl
love cave
squeeze-box
quim
honey pot
the bone collector
goodie basket
depository
pink turtleneck
bread-box
little debbie
pole hole
pandora’s box
snail tracker
zilla
homebase
pud pocket
bear trap
indiana bones and the temple of poon
chanch
big montana
noochie
choot
golden valley
nappy roots
dick mitten
mystical fold
And, for those who prefer the technical terms for the Vagina, make sure you are anatomically correct in your phrases, because sometimes, it’s equally hilarious when you don’t realize where things just might be, ya know?
Your Welcome.
Oh, and if you are reading this and are not a follower, WELCOME. Please SHARE my posts to your own followers, your own friends, etc. Be social, it’s all about social media, right? You can sign up for my blog down in the lower right of this blog with the + sign or up in the left-hand side too. Click on the other titles of my blog so you can see it’s not all about the vagina but actually, books, and maybe a little bit more…
Red Spear 
Alex Westmore, aka Linda Kay Silva, is a 5 time award winning author of 35 novels ranging from police action (Delta Stevens Crime Log) to historical fiction (Plundered Chronicles). She is a literature professor at a military academy where she teaches everything from America, World, and British Literature, to Modern Epic Fantasy and Creative Writing.
I mean, there is only so many ways you can describe some things, but some of the ways some writers have chosen to go about is downright hilarious. I am not making fun of anyone in particular, I am sure some of my ‘alternates’ have been funny to some, but come on people…don’t you have beta readers or editors who stopped you, or, at least, brought it your attention?
reading this, I know I did! Please reference the ‘helpful’ numbers I put in there for the words when talking about said ALTERNATE WORD. Also note that I had to ‘update’ my dictionary for ‘some’ of these words, rolling my eyes here…poor spell-check.
Your Welcome.
K'Anne Meinel 