That battle cry went out on social media. ME TOO! And, it was a call to raise awareness that harassment, intimidation, and assault is happening to women. Maybe not ALL women, but the majority of them. It’s amazing how many people reacted, and how.
There are the women who deny it happens. That if you dressed a different way (Mayim Bialik) that it won’t happen to you. Now I could call her names for that statement that she made and point out how unattractive she was and that no one would hit on her…but, that would be catty. She is actually a lovely woman from the interviews she has made, the acting she has done, but that doesn’t make her an expert in how women should dress and that it will keep the predators away.
According to Reuters thirteen women (so far) have come forward with claims that Harvey Weinstein assaulted (I hate that word, sometimes the word RAPE should be used, however my capture above explains the whole concept) them or made suggestive comments or inappropriate moves on them. Some capitulated because of the power this man held over their careers. You could dismiss one woman’s claim, maybe, I wouldn’t, however when this MANY come forth, you cannot as it is a well-known ‘secret’ in Hollywood what this man did. When stars such as Gwyneth Paltrow, Angelina Jolie, Ashley Judd, and others of their stature come forth with their own stories, it has to be believed. This man IS and WAS a predator and it was allowed to go on because of the perceived POWER he held over people. How many women, maybe men too had their careers derailed because of this predator (and yes, he is a predator) POWER over them? If they didn’t play by HIS rules, they were ruined!
Then there is the high-profile case of Bill Cosby who over the course of his career drugged and RAPED many, many women. Now most would say ALLEGEDLY to avoid being sued, however I’m basing my declaration on the MANY women who came forth to testify and this is my OPINION. Should we feel sorry for him because he is now old and blind? Should we excuse it because while he was in his heyday he produced excellent work in the form of The Cosby Show? NOOOOOO! There is NO excuse for this behavior.
Men, and women too, TRY to excuse this behavior as ‘boys will be boys’ but there is NO excuse. It should not and CAN not be ALLOWED. Call the aggressor out on it, they SHOULD be afraid of THEIR behavior. Their THREATS should be REPORTED as well as their ACTIONS. Yes, it’s hard when you think you are alone, but what if you aren’t? What if others come forth and tell the same tale? You will have led the way and possibly prevented it from happening AGAIN!
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
This doesn’t JUST happen to WOMEN, it happens to men, boys even in everyday situations, not just the Hollyweird arena. But maybe, if we make these perpetrators AWARE that we are going to call them out on it, maybe the FEAR will prevent it from happening in the first place. Although, I think it’s been going on FOREVER…we can at least TRY.
A few years ago I was named General Manager of a company. I was over-qualified for the position as I had been running companies for about twenty years at that point, but I wanted to see what I could do for this company with my unique skills and I welcomed the opportunity. I worked my ass off and the owner was thrilled with my resourcefulness…especially because I believe in getting most out of it for free. Advertising, marketing, etc are my forte and I didn’t cost him more than my salary. I got in the newspaper about the work I was doing, I got on television, I got us in a free commercial even. LOTS of FREE advertisement for the company. He told me to answer to no one but him…and then, he went to Florida for the winter. His Chief Financial Officer suddenly thought ‘he’ was ‘in charge’ and went after me. Not sexually, just inappropriately. Getting called a ‘fucking bitch’ to your face nearly every day because you won’t allow him to interfere, stick his fingers in the money, etc is not fun. This harassment only increased from there. I detest the word ‘cunt’ and I got called that and other names DAILY. Now, I knew I was a woman in a ‘mans’ field, but when he enlisted the help of my people to harass me it took on dangerous elements. It took four months but they wore me down and set me up. I finally HAD to quit. He wouldn’t let me wait in the office for a ride since they took my company car away from me even though it was the middle of winter. I began to walk until my ride showed up. When the State of Wisconsin found out why I quit, they (the company) tried to deny my unemployment benefits. I won that round and got them. The State went after them for the sexual harassment but when it came time to actually go to court they backed out, said I had to pay for my own attorney, which I could not afford, and I was left hanging. Found out later that I wasn’t the only one this company had been sued for the same claims. While this was going on, they watched my house daily. I live in a fairly secluded area of my village and the car sitting there with a man sitting at the wheel was VERY obvious. The police went by frequently as I called them, concerned for the ‘broken down’ car that always seemed to be there. That went on for TWO YEARS.
This is something I posted on Facebook the other day:
Real conversation, a variation of something I posted:
Do you know how many MEN raped women last year? Do you know how many BOYS harassed girls in their schools last year creating uncomfortable and unsafe environments for those same girls? Do you know how many men and boys impregnated teenage girls last year? Do you know how many people, men and women, let BOYS off with the phrase, ‘boys will be boys?’
Why is it ALWAYS the females fault when a male acts up? I taught my boys that girls are just as good if not better at some things, everyone has their strengths, and no means no. Is that so hard? Not everyone has the same skills or opportunities, it doesn’t mean they can’t do the same things, they just might not have had the chance. It doesn’t mean they aren’t smart enough or anything of that nature and they don’t ‘deserve’ to be assaulted because of their gender, their dress mode, or for ANY reason.
Accepting this behavior, not coming forward because you are frightened, are sure that no one will believe you, know that there are people out there who will fight for you, stand up for you, believe you.
Yes, there will be those who make false accusations but what if we assumed in the FIRST place that they were telling the truth? Would it, at least, take a sexual predator off the streets before they could do it again?
It’s time we banded together and fought against the misogyny, the patriarchal society that has kept us down for so long and is perpetuated EVERYWHERE, not just in our country. Perhaps, we can create a better SOCIETY as a result…I know I’m doing my part because I created to BETTER human beings who happened to be male.
You are not alone. Nearly EVERY woman has been the VICTIM of this horrible epidemic…and it IS a disease. One perpetuated by ignorance and stupidity. A misogynistic and patrimonial society that allows it to continue…Let’s stop it in ONE generation. There are those who will say, I can’t do anything…but, you can. Awareness is only PART of the problem.
I don’t claim to have the answers, but we do need to do SOMETHING, ANYthing to make people more aware of its insidious allowance into our lives. The women, and men, who allow it to happen, perpetuate it, victimize others with their behavior cannot be allowed to continue. It affects the VICTIMS for LIFE.
It’s NOT funny, it’s not ‘boys will be boys’, it’s horrific, sometimes making suicidal victims in its wake. We already know our government ALLOWS it, but maybe we need to take the bull by the horns and make THEM aware of how WRONG it is!