I lost my READING SKILLS

reading-skills-its-super-effective

I’ve lost my reading skills.  You might say WHAT?  How is that possible?  You’ve written how MANY books and published HOW MANY books and you’ve lost said skills?  Well, I have a theory…

I write because I enjoy it, my creative mind takes over and I can write, and write, and write.  Yes, I re-read it to check for story line errors, add things, tweak things, and to keep within the story itself…but I don’t READ to ENJOY it.10401992_10153118816006291_3651151688037072011_n

I READ my authors books, which I DO enjoy or I wouldn’t be publishing them…in fact, I have a confession, I’ve gone back to reread their stories from time to time because, I have my favorites…shhhh.

However, I realized after all the hard work of writing and publishing, I haven’t just read for MY enjoyment in a LONG time.  I lost my reading skills.2277838

I have a lot of author friends, some of who have been kind enough to send me copies of their books (thank you by the way, it IS appreciated).  freeHowever, I don’t think I’ve had the TIME to read them because I do work, and work HARD at my own stuff.

My girlfriend is an author and a lovely woman (she paid me to say that, NOT).  I took a wee bit TOO long to read her first offering to the public.  I was BUSY.  It caused hurt feelings, and, each time I was asked, I felt a stubborn resistance to even FIND the time.  Believe me, I FOUND the TIME.

That’s just it…TIME.  262a008a1093ae08fb758bbb904e8053Apparently, I do a lot of work that people aren’t aware of.  They SEE me on social media ‘playing’ and don’t realize I’m posting in groups (thanks for Facebook Jail BTW), promoting, chatting with authors and sometimes even socializing with friends.  Sometimes it’s just up in the background so people can get a hold of me if they need to.  They just see me ON there ALL the time and assume…well, stop doing THAT.

I actually do read, A LOT!  I really enjoy doing research, watching biographies, documentaries, and movies on a subject…but that is ‘work.’  Fortunately, I enjoy my work.76bef9f0c38dd2bb2778c2ebd4faff13--hate-cats-reading-library

Yesterday, after finishing up one of my author’s books, formatting it, and sending it off to the beta readers, I read for FOUR glorious hours from one of ‘the other’ authors that I have collected for thirty years.  r2-1-e1466127938360 She died two years ago, but her stories will live on gloriously.  The really cool thing about it, although I’ve read her books numerous times, I didn’t remember everything so it was like reading it for the FIRST time, and yet, not.  Her books have a familiar feel and the stories are just marvelous.  When I grow up, I want to be just like her…images

So, I realized…I haven’t been reading just for PLEASURE in a LONG time and I need these little breaks…they help inspire me, make me work so that I can get back to my GUILTY PLEASURES (stop, you dirty minded readers, you), which has always been, READING.images (1)  Fortunately, I have many bookshelves full of potential targets that have nothing to do with my ‘work,’ but have everything to do with reading…reading-meme

I’ll let you know if I find my reading skills…I know I left them around here SOMEWHERE….Rainbow Feather www.kannemeinel.com READ

Luggage

Thirty odd years ago (yeah, I can’t believe I can say that either) my mother bought me a luggage set as a birthday/graduation/xmas present.  It was pretty expensive then (especially for my mom) and I have to say I have gotten a lot of use out of it.  For roughly $100-$150 I got a complete Samsonite set.

20170702_203051_Burst01.jpgAnd, after 30 some years of traveling (I lived out of them for a couple of years) they really have stood the test of time.

What happened to the days where you bought something and knew it would last?  Remember the days where Samsonite had those commercials where chimpanzee’s, monkey’s, and apes threw the cases around?  They really did/do last.  Okay, it was American Tourister (do they still exist?) but, you get my drift…

I’m sad to say that other cases I’ve added have never lasted as long.  This set, pictured above is still going fairly strong.  I have one or two pieces I never use anymore (makeup case) and I’ve learned to downsize, but the same basic three pieces are still alive.  I’ve lost the pull strap for the big one which still has working wheels, you can see wear and tear on the edges, and today I found a hole through one of them as I pack for the GCLS con in Chicago.  Still, quality LASTS.  So does a GOOD story.  It stick’s with you for a LONG time, even after the book has become frayed and worn away.

We are living in a time where people dispose of their possessions far too easily.  A book, a story that sticks with you, makes you want to read over and over again, is priceless.  So take a moment and think over those you have enjoyed.  Check out mine if you haven’t, and if you have, please leave a review….you never know who you might influence and they can have the same enjoyment of the story that you had.

ShadoePublishing 4

If you are at GCLS this next week, please say hello to me.  If I look a bit confused it’s because I have the memory of a goldfish and while your name might ring a bell, the bell’s clapper may have been muffled…Facebook friends and others have a tendency to make me look as though I don’t remember anyone, but I do, and I have a long memory for the oddest things…so take a chance and give me a hug (I really don’t bite (despite the fangs)…hard), talk to me, and ask me for a lesbian membership card!  Lol!   Who knows when/where we will meet again!  See you all there!

VAGINA!

Did the title of this blog get your attention?  If so, please subscribe 😉

A few years ago, The L Word came up with a fantastic episode where they began to discuss alternate words for THE VAGINA!  See it here:

Well, I don’t know WHERE I came up with THIS list, I’m sure Google helped enormously, but I can’t tell you where it all came from, what site it came from, or, who to ‘thank.’  I would if I could.  I’ve had it in a file on my computers for years.  I thought it might help in my writing.  Btw, I did not alter any of these words/phrases.  As you can see by the list, it had to have had plenty of ‘male’ help.  No offense to my male readers, but some of the names on the list are downright offensive to this WOMAN, and as a LESBIAN I find some of them equally disgusting if not more so.  I will admit to not understanding SOME of them, because, well, read them and see why.  I will also admit to the occasional blush.

But, a conversation arose on Facebook the other day and it was about certain words that are used in Lesbian Fiction.  I thought, write a blog about words that some couldn’t handle IN THEIR FACE (Gettit?  Lesbian’s, and in your face?  I’m so punny).  Bex12g3IYAAWN_xI mean, there is only so many ways you can describe some things, but some of the ways some writers have chosen to go about is downright hilarious.  I am not making fun of anyone in particular, I am sure some of my ‘alternates’ have been funny to some, but come on people…don’t you have beta readers or editors who stopped you, or, at least, brought it your attention?

So, here is my gift to you my readers, followers, and other authors, in no particular order, ALTERNATE WORDS and phrases to the word VAGINA!  Have at it and enjoy the hilarity.   Comments are welcome, more alternative words and phrases will be welcome, and have a (pardon the pun) ball dolphinreading this, I know I did!  Please reference the ‘helpful’ numbers I put in there for the words when talking about said ALTERNATE WORD.  Also note that I had to ‘update’ my dictionary for ‘some’ of these words, rolling my eyes here…poor spell-check.

  1. Pussy
  2. Vag-gi-gi or Vag-ji-ji or Vag-jay-jay
  3. bearded clam
  4. vertical smile
  5. beaver
  6. trim
  7. hair pie
  8. bearded ax wound
  9. tuna taco
  10. fur burger
  11. cooch
  12. cooter
  13. punani
  14. snatch
  15. twat
  16. lovebox
  17. box
  18. poontang
  19. cookie
  20. hole
  21. love canal
  22. flower
  23. nana
  24. pink taco
  25. cat
  26. catcher’s mitt
  27. muff
  28. roast beef curtains
  29. the cum dump
  30. chocha
  31. black hole
  32. sperm sucker
  33. fish sandwich
  34. warmer
  35. whisker biscuit
  36. carpet
  37. love hole
  38. deep socket
  39. cum craver
  40. squeezer
  41. slice of heaven
  42. flesh cavern
  43. the great divide
  44. cherry
  45. tongue depressor
  46. clit slit
  47. hatchet wound
  48. honey pot
  49. quim
  50. meat massager
  51. chacha
  52. stinkhole
  53. black hole of calcutta
  54. socket
  55. pink taco
  56. bottomless pit
  57. dead clam
  58. cum crack
  59. twat
  60. rattlesnake canyon
  61. bush
  62. cunny
  63. flaps
  64. fuzz box
  65. fuzzy wuzzy
  66. gash
  67. glory hole
  68. grumble
  69. man in the boat
  70. mud flaps
  71. mound
  72. peach
  73. pink
  74. piss flaps
  75. the fish flap
  76. love rug
  77. vadge
  78. the furry cup
  79. stench-trench
  80. wizard’s sleeve
  81. DNA dumpster
  82. tuna town
  83. split dick
  84. bikini bizkit
  85. holster
  86. cockpit
  87. snooch
  88. kitty kat
  89. poody tat
  90. grassy knoll
  91. cold cut combo
  92. Jewel box
  93. rosebud
  94. curly curtains
  95. furry furnace
  96. slop hole
  97. velcro love triangle
  98. nether lips
  99. where Uncle’s doodle goes
  100. altar of love
  101. cupid’s cupboard
  102. bird’s nest
  103. bucket
  104. cock-chafer
  105. love glove
  106. serpent socket
  107. spunk-pot
  108. hairy doughnut
  109. fun hatch
  110. spasm chasm
  111. red lane
  112. stinky speedway
  113. bacon hole
  114. belly entrance
  115. nookie
  116. sugar basin
  117. sweet briar
  118. breakfast of champions
  119. wookie
  120. fish mitten
  121. pocket
  122. hump hole
  123. pink circle
  124. silk igloo
  125. scrambled eggs between the legs
  126. black oak
  127. Republic of Labia
  128. juice box
  129. Golden Palace
  130. fetus flaps
  131. skins
  132. sausage wallet
  133. Holiest of Holies
  134. sugar hole
  135. The Death of Adam
  136. home plate
  137. Deer Hoof
  138. Golden Arches
  139. Cats Paw
  140. Mule Nose
  141. Yo Yo Smuggler
  142. Mumbler (Aussie)
  143. Dinner Roll
  144. Crotch Waffle
  145. Piss Fenders
  146. crack Melvin
  147. Dove Breast
  148. Brakepads
  149. Vedgie
  150. Slurpy
  151. Vacuum Vulva
  152. Pastrami Flaps
  153. Hot Tamaki Walk
  154. Buffalo Gums
  155. Rooster Jaws
  156. Wagon Ruts
  157. Beaver Teeth
  158. Mumble Pants (Sweden)
  159. Ninja Boot
  160. Marcia (Aussie)
  161. Skin Canoe
  162. Fatty
  163. Mossy Jaw
  164. The Big W
  165. Chia Hole
  166. Lip Jeans
  167. Beetle Hood
  168. Hungry Minge
  169. Sausage Wallet
  170. Front Bottom
  171. Welly Top
  172. Frum
  173. Pancake Fold
  174. Tongue Roll
  175. Bologna Flap-Over
  176. Furrogi (Poland)
  177. Fortune Nookie (China)
  178. Bearded Taco
  179. Calamari Cockring
  180. Displabia
  181. Slot Pocket
  182. Bluntfrunt
  183. Fishamjig
  184. Pole Magnet
  185. Pocket Pie
  186. Clamarama
  187. kitty cage
  188. Chicken’s tongue
  189. Conch shell
  190. Crack of heaven
  191. Dog’s mouth
  192. Door of life
  193. Fly catcher
  194. Fruit cup
  195. Jelly roll
  196. Lobster pot
  197. bunny tuft
  198. knish
  199. her neighbor
  200. lotus
  201. nappy dugout
  202. moneymaker
  203. womens weapon
  204. tackle box
  205. bone hider
  206. red sea
  207. pizzo
  208. Jizz receptacle
  209. The Helmut Hide-A-Way
  210. hairy heaven
  211. furry 8 ball rack
  212. crave cave
  213. arbys with fur
  214. fish canyon
  215. toolshed
  216. snake charmer
  217. Furby
  218. Enchilada of love
  219. Ham sandwich
  220. Camarillo brillo
  221. Brazilian caterpillar
  222. dick rack boy in the canoe
  223. flesh tuxedo
  224. Mound of Venus
  225. queef quarters
  226. Venus butterfly
  227. cooter
  228. cream canal
  229. poontang pie
  230. wet mark
  231. private area
  232. thresher
  233. punash
  234. salami garage
  235. tunnel of love
  236. slurpee machine
  237. pink cookie
  238. penalty box
  239. ground zero
  240. meat crease
  241. bait
  242. birth canal
  243. holy grail
  244. pole hole
  245. pork pie
  246. fuzz bucket
  247. one-eyed python trail
  248. bubble gum by the bum
  249. stink rink
  250. theme park
  251. saloon doors
  252. pink truffle
  253. bitter & twisted
  254. burger bar
  255. meat counter
  256. temperamental ring piece
  257. python syphon
  258. big bud
  259. the Wombsday Book
  260. the condo downstate
  261. snake lake
  262. the indoor barbecue
  263. pound cake
  264. beef tomato
  265. tickled pink
  266. launch pad
  267. horn of plenty
  268. the indoor picnic
  269. hamper of goodies
  270. flapped bap
  271. bonefish
  272. close encounter with the turd kind
  273. sperm bank
  274. man’s charity bash
  275. bush tucker midnight dip
  276. the one-door vulva
  277. the welcome opponent
  278. the Twatlantic Ocean
  279. temporary lodgings
  280. field of dreams
  281. bean
  282. cooze
  283. old catchers mitt
  284. devil’s hole
  285. lucy
  286. pish buffet
  287. pooswaa
  288. poonaner
  289. davey jones locker
  290. pink panther
  291. tinker bell
  292. south mouth
  293. dick eater
  294. wonder bread
  295. wolly bolly
  296. foxhole
  297. hot pocket
  298. head catcher
  299. Lawrence of A Labia
  300. silk funnel
  301. dick driver
  302. purple people penis eater
  303. meat curtains
  304. ponchita
  305. cherry pop tart
  306. fat rabbit
  307. s
  308. pee jaws
  309. mingus
  310. The Notorious V.A.G.
  311. stench trench
  312. poon jab
  313. nappy dugout
  314. babyoven
  315. penis parking
  316. cooter muffin
  317. the promised land
  318. pocket
  319. cha cha
  320. the shrine
  321. bitch ditch
  322. fury pink mink
  323. mammal hole
  324. ever-lasting cum stopper
  325. the toothless blow job
  326. happy flappy
  327. wilt chamberlian’s daily glove
  328. the code defier
  329. the salt water taffy factory
  330. mommy’s pie
  331. the easy bake oven
  332. the deflower patch
  333. the virginator
  334. the schlong sucker
  335. the dea bone patch
  336. the vegetarian’s temptation
  337. the vegan store
  338. the blow hole
  339. the pump protector
  340. bag pipe
  341. Spitball Bullseye
  342. meat wagon
  343. pickle stinker
  344. jezebel’s smell
  345. yoni
  346. willys haven
  347. scrumpter peach
  348. sweat box
  349. yeast pocket
  350. penis warmer
  351. tampon tunnel
  352. penis pothole
  353. cucumber canal
  354. egg drop Box
  355. sperm shack
  356. dick dungeon
  357. curator
  358. b.o.b.’s bungalow
  359. mommy parts
  360. tuna pot pie
  361. nice slice
  362. peter vise
  363. sock
  364. rack of clam
  365. peters grove
  366. penis purse
  367. grandest canyon
  368. fish dish
  369. banana box
  370. tuna spread
  371. pink portal
  372. count fapula
  373. red river gorge
  374. happy valley
  375. revolving in/out door
  376. baby zipper
  377. richards house
  378. stop-n-pop
  379. bone polisher
  380. packin’ shack
  381. wiener wrap
  382. clap trap
  383. camel toe
  384. dildo hotel
  385. axe gash
  386. pearl hotel
  387. sea food six pack
  388. clam canal
  389. coose canal
  390. dick deposit
  391. wand waxer
  392. vidgie
  393. erie canal
  394. candy kiss
  395. gauntlet
  396. round mound of beehound
  397. lick n’ stick
  398. lap flounder
  399. tomahawk chop
  400. chin-chin
  401. pachinko
  402. ry pie
  403. lip tip
  404. the big casino
  405. one eyed worm hole
  406. amazon forest
  407. cave
  408. donut
  409. coochie pop
  410. babby
  411. wet seal
  412. pissy froth hole
  413. bald biscuit
  414. the unmentionable
  415. man’s ruin
  416. peeshie
  417. hairy potter
  418. courtney cocksleeve
  419. panty hamster
  420. deep pink
  421. jaws of life
  422. gizmo
  423. faith
  424. magnet
  425. slippery slide
  426. Meat tunnel
  427. pink heaven
  428. squid
  429. dick basket
  430. hot spot
  431. poochika
  432. pudding
  433. bowl
  434. love cave
  435. squeeze-box
  436. quim
  437. honey pot
  438. the bone collector
  439. goodie basket
  440. depository
  441. pink turtleneck
  442. bread-box
  443. little debbie
  444. pole hole
  445. pandora’s box
  446. snail tracker
  447. zilla
  448. homebase
  449. pud pocket
  450. bear trap
  451. indiana bones and the temple of poon
  452. chanch
  453. big montana
  454. noochie
  455. choot
  456. golden valley
  457. nappy roots
  458. dick mitten
  459. mystical fold

And, for those who prefer the technical terms for the Vagina, make sure you are anatomically correct in your phrases, because sometimes, it’s equally hilarious when you don’t realize where things just might be, ya know?

vagina-diagram Your Welcome.

Oh, and if you are reading this and are not a follower, WELCOME.  Please SHARE my posts to your own followers, your own friends, etc.  Be social, it’s all about social media, right?  You can sign up for my blog down in the lower right of this blog with the + sign or up in the left-hand side too.  Click on the other titles of my blog so you can see it’s not all about the vagina but actually, books, and maybe a little bit more…

Also, for all of you, read some of my latest at www.kannemeinel.com!

Provincetown, MA 2016

2016-p-town-ww-indie-book-signing-announcement

Ptown-bound folks~ Come meet and pick up books from independently published authors! (I’ll have skittles…and books!) Watch for my red Fedora if you aren’t sure it’s me, lol www.kannemeinel.com

capture-3

 

UK Reviews for ~VEIL OF SILENCE~

Veil of Silence Cover

Five Star

FIVE STAR REVIEWS

on 9 July 2016
This is a fantastic book. I loved Homeland and this explored some similar themes but was from the point of view of a female soldier under such extreme circumstances, and the impact on a lesbian relationship of a woman returning home with children who are hers but not her wife’s. The pressures the two women are under are realistic and touching, and the complex plot had me reading furiously to try and find out what had really happened! This is an excellent choice even if lesfic isn’t your usual genre.
on 6 August 2016
This is a great story very different but full of love. Missing for years in Afganistan a serving American officer suddenly appears at the US embassy in a burqa and two young children in tow. The book follows her repatriation, the secrets she holds and being reacquainted with her wife & daughter. Well worth a read several times over.
on 7 August 2016
This is the first book I’ve read by this author and i think I felt every emotion whilst reading it and tears. I was unsure and a little uncomfortable if I’m honest if I wanted to read about the subject of rape within this book. But ultimately it is about strength and resilience and unconditional love. It was a well written story which pulled at my heart strings and which I couldn’t put down as I wanted to know the conclusion. I would have liked to have read more about Marsha and Heather’s reestablishing of their relationship after such a long awful time apart. Maybe a sequel for those two?
on 17 July 2016
Loved this book, very good storyline, the characters were really believable. Would love to read a follow-up. Keep up the good work.
on 9 August 2016
Great story, kept me wanting to read more well past the ending of the book. Look forward to the next one.
on 2 August 2016
loved story line kept me riveted
Four Star

Four Star

on 24 July 2016
Excellent book about a subject that I know very little other than what we see on the news slots.
How on earth any human being can survive this and come back halfway sane is beyond me and I have nothing but respect for any soldier (by soldier I mean all service personnel) that puts themselves on the line for the rest of us.
Strangely, for me, the hero of this book was not the soldier, but her partner who was left behind and had to pick up the pieces of their fractured lives, anyone in that situation deserves a medal in the same way that service personnel do. Made me really appreciate how we undervalue our service men and women and has made me think long and hard about the rights and wrongs of war.
THANK YOU to ALL who took the time not only to BUY but READ this book but then to WRITE a Review!
 Leaving a Review...
Available in paperback or ebook from all these fine retailers:
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or on my website: www.kannemeinel.com where you can read the first chaper for FREE!

 

Five years ago, Lieutenant Marsha Gagliano disappeared when her helicopter crashed in Afghanistan.  Her wife held out hope for her return, but with no word from the army after all that time, she begins to realize she may have to move on without her.

At the embassy in Kabul, a burqa-clad woman arrives at the gate with two young children in tow.  The black-haired, brown-eyed woman looks like an Afghan native, but her American accent belies this.  She identifies herself as Lieutenant Marsha Gagliano, all the while keeping a close eye out behind her as though at any moment, someone might jump out and snatch her back.

Questions arise regarding her disappearance and reappearance and the army is suspicious.  The children are obviously hers.  Has she consorted with the enemy?  How will her wife react to these children?  Will she be able to accept children she had no part in conceiving?

What is this woman hiding beneath her chador?  What secrets lie behind her veil of silence?

~FREE BOOKS~ on Facebook

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OUT OF GRIEF  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01J89S7CQ

Where does friendship stop and love begin?

Nikki Kay is a successful lesbian romance author, from a loving Russian family. Her best friend Quinn from an uptight Anglo-Saxon family has been her best friend since childhood. Unfortunately for Nikki, Quinn is more than a best friend—she is the only woman Nikki ever truly loved.

When Quinn’s husband kills himself unexpectedly, Nikki rushes to Quinn’s side. And just as they need each other more than ever, Quinn discovers she’s carrying his child. While Quinn sees no problem leaning on Nikki to get her through, Nikki is faced with battling her growing attraction

DOCTORED http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01EXJ9842

A brilliant child protégée, she dreams of becoming a doctor and a surgeon…and accomplishes her goals.  Unfortunately, her youth and round, child-like face work against her.  No matter how skilled she becomes, how knowledgeable, the old school, male-dominated medical hierarchy wants to keep her in ‘her place.’

Deana has worked hard to become an expert in her chosen field, but few believe this ‘child’ capable.   Specializing in infectious diseases, she travels the world—from the States to Europe to South America—honing her skills before winding up in Africa where her skills are desperately needed.

Meeting a nurse by the name of Madison MacGregor, she finds they share an insatiable curiosity and a love of helping others, but falling in love was not what she intended.  Later, when she loses Maddie to a misunderstanding, she is haunted by the one that got away…

Ten years have passed and both the doctor and nurse have moved on with their lives, but fate intervenes when they find themselves working at the same hospital.  Their friendship is revived…can their love be rekindled?  Will the past haunt them or bring them closer?  Will the secrets that both harbor keep them from realizing a future together?

THE SECOND HEART  https://www.amazon.com/B00NANN5UQ

Is love truly universal?

Major Kate Winston is a decorated officer with a promising career until she wakes up naked in the arms a strange woman with no memory of how she got there.

Alexia is from another planet sent by the elders to kill Major Winston to put off the foreseen destruction of their planet by Earth’s mistakes.

From the backwoods of Pennsylvania to New York City to Alexia’s home world, the novel weaves a tale of emotional intrigue as two women from different words struggle with their desires, and life and death decisions.

VEIL OF SILENCE https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01HJ7ZR0Y

Five years ago, Lieutenant Marsha Gagliano disappeared when her helicopter crashed in Afghanistan.  Her wife held out hope for her return, but with no word from the army after all that time, she begins to realize she may have to move on without her.

At the embassy in Kabul, a burqa-clad woman arrives at the gate with two young children in tow.  The black-haired, brown-eyed woman looks like an Afghan native, but her American accent belies this.  She identifies herself as Lieutenant Marsha Gagliano, all the while keeping a close eye out behind her as though at any moment, someone might jump out and snatch her back.

Questions arise regarding her disappearance and reappearance and the army is suspicious.  The children are obviously hers.  Has she consorted with the enemy?  How will her wife react to these children?  Will she be able to accept children she had no part in conceiving?

What is this woman hiding beneath her chador?  What secrets lie behind her veil of silence?