INTERVIEWING all WEEKEND LONG!

Conversation-Pic-2-NO-HAIR

And…what are YOU doing this weekend?

Come on into the Lesfic Reading Group on Facebook 1-facebook-logo and join in on the Questions and Answers, Give-a-ways, and General FUN!

Don’t be shy, I’m on The Writer’s Block K'Anne Meinel

ALL WEEKEND LONG!

SIGNED BOOKS

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Just added links so you can get SIGNED books via my website with this little button Capture.

Whichever PAPERBACK animated-gifs-books-80 you wish to order…Pocket Paperbacks, Regular Paperbacks or even LARGE PRINT Paperbacks images (2) you can now buy them SIGNED by Your’s Truly!

I WILL ship them OUTSIDE the United States, but shipping will of course be EXTRA.  The button is set up for sales in this United States but if I see it’s outside the U.S. I’ll send you an email to tell you what the difference is in shipping for the book(s) you may have ordered.

Did you know, even the E-Books can be SIGNED by ag_logo-2e06739703b28f569d8611880bd4b6dc?

Take a look at the website and ENJOY!

www.kannemeinel.com

If I had a daughter, a poem

If I had a daughter

By K’Anne Meinel

© June 2015

If I had a daughter

I wouldn’t tell her how pretty she is

I’d tell her that beauty radiates from within

If I had a daughter

I wouldn’t tell her that things will be better someday

I’d point out the good things that are now

If I had a daughter

I would hold her when some man or woman broke her heart

And then we would jokingly plot our revenge-together.

If I had a daughter

I wouldn’t tell her how to live her life

I’d tell her that life is what you make of it, so live it

If I had a daughter

I’d tell her that being a tom-boy is okay

Because I was one too

If I had a daughter

I’d tell her it was okay to play with Legos

And then ask, could I play too

If I had a daughter

I would show her how to wear dresses, makeup, and embrace being female

And then I would show her that jeans, t-shirts, and being real are just as important

If I had a daughter

I would show her that climbing trees, playing with mud, and running

Are just as feminine as the above

If I had a daughter

I would explain that being feminine is a stereotype

That being true to oneself is more important

If I had a daughter

I wouldn’t tell her that no means no,

I’d tell her that he/she wouldn’t have asked in the first place if he/she respected her

If I had a daughter

I’d enjoy all the little things

That made her mine and I hers

If I had a daughter

I’d love her for the being I was lucky to have created

Same great story with an alternate cover: BLOWN AWAY

Blown Away The Alternate Cover

Don’t judge a book by its cover!  Nothing, and no one, is EVER what they seem.

Ellen Christenson escapes from an abusive life, but does one ever escape the scars that are left on their soul?  One must move on, one must try.  But life has a tendency to circle back to what one once knew and she finds her life choices bring her back to the scenes of her abuse, to deal with it finally and fully, in ways she had never thought she would deal with.  It is then that the healing can begin, as she repairs her soul and the people she has devastated along the way.

Ellen hadn’t ‘intended’ to end up in Silicon Valley and its high tech world, but due to life and it’s circumstances she finds herself the head of a startup tech company.  Cool, calculating, efficient, she shows the world a side of her that she really isn’t, few if any know the real Ellen.  Nearby San Francisco provides her with plenty of girlfriends.  That elusive one, that soul mate, she has a hard time recognizing due to the scars within.

Living with the choice of letting someone die for their sins, for years, Ellen is ‘blown away’ by the feelings and emotions she has bottled up for so long….

BLOWN AWAY ALTERNATE COVER EDITION:

Paperback and E-Book

Now you may ASK, WHY?

Blown Away 1000After all, I have this HOT HOT HOT cover that should have people drooling over buying and reading the story.  This cover was deliberately chosen to get people’s attention because the story itself is difficult.  Yes, it has some great love scenes in it but it isn’t about that at all.  The story itself, is about overcoming abuse and the journey one woman makes to get there.  Discovering along the way not only herself but who is important in her life.

Yes the same great story is available in BOTH covers.  Some people don’t want this provocative cover to read the book by and the above cover is a little more user friendly.

Whichever you choose to buy, just read the story.  I’m certain you won’t regret the journey it will take you on.

Paperback and E-Book of this version.

Of Trolls and Reviews

Definition of Troll

In this modern day of people hiding behind a keyboard it is easy to state an opinion on social media or a blog (as I am doing here) or anywhere on line where others will eventually see it.  A lot of people don’t realize the long term consequences of blurting out their thoughts and just let it hang all out there.  Recently I released a new book BLOWN AWAY.  My first review was barely a one star.Capture  I’m not arrogant enough to think that ALL my reviews SHOULD be FIVE stars but this one was a little harsh.  I took it in stride as the next two WERE five stars and I especially LIKED that one of the posters took abridge to the one star reviewer (thank you by the way).

Everyone is ALLOWED their OWN opinion, but not everyone SHOULD express it.  Especially if it is intentional to harm the person they are expressing it about.  Authors are a unique breed, we do bleed, we do have thoughts and feelings and emotions…we run the gammit of them as we express them in our creations…our reviews are a necessary part of us putting out ‘babies’ out there.Review It is a double-edged sword.  We are human after all and have these ‘compulsions’ to put these stories, part of US…out there.  Now while this reviewer absolutely HAS the RIGHT to express THEIR opinion, I actually applaud them for it, if it was intended to HURT, it didn’t succeed.

My first thought when I saw the first review was that it was a troll (defined above) download and while I value other people’s opinions, I don’t think hiding behind a keyboard and doing such things is ethical.

I know not everyone is going to like everything I write, not everything I write IS gold.  This book however, while it has a provocative cover (deliberately to garner your attention) deals with some harsh realities.  Mainly, ABUSE.  Something I do know something about, something I felt I could shed some light on.  The main character deals with it and finds that she carries it with her for years, not allowing herself to have decent relationships as a result.  The process is what this is about, for this character to learn to deal with.  You have to know who she is, what makes her the way she is, and how she overcomes.  Is this mainly a romance, ABSOLUTELY NOT.  This is a DRAMA with a romance within, mainly, learning to forgive oneself for decisions made due to abuse.  This was NOT an easy book to write.  It isn’t an easy book to READ.  No, not everyone is going to LIKE it, but it IS a GOOD book and the many others tweeting about it who realize the whole point OF the book, get it, understand it, and know it’s value, THANK YOU!

Full Cover of BLOWN AWAYSeriously, do NOT judge a book by it’s cover!  This one might just BLOW YOU away!

Paperback

E-Book

Good Bye to my Dad

Now before you say, ‘I’m sorry,’ or ‘My condolences,’ please be aware that I’m not really sorry.  Yes, that makes me sound like a horrible person.  But I’m not sad for his passing.  He had a fairly good life but he was a misogynistic man who was so self-centered, brilliant, but with no common sense.  I’m not sure he hadn’t ‘died’ for me many years ago.390109_4016417454799_1338886792_n

This was a man who should never have pro-created.  Yes, I realize by saying that, had he not had any children, I wouldn’t be here in this mortal form.  However, someone who didn’t want children, especially ‘girl’ children, whom he had no use for, really shouldn’t have them.  He made my mother miserable with his behaviors, he made his children miserable with then as well.  His friends he couldn’t do enough for.  They never turned out to be lasting friends, because, they used him shamelessly.

I have a few good memories of the man.  One, we shared a liking of science-fiction and saw the Star Trek and Star Wars movies together.  But I often felt I was using him to see a movie I liked, not going with him to spend time with a father.  He wasn’t much of one.  He ignored me because I was a girl.  In fact I am certain I was called by my brother or sisters names or ‘hey you’ until I was about eleven when I stopped answering to that.  Two, we both shared a liking for nature.  He took a swamp that the local farmer sold to that city boy and turned it into a trout farm.  We kept them as pets for the most part.  We also had about thirty tanks in our basement.  That was fascinating.

1399082_10201035873324986_1196985690_oMy father was a falconer and for many years before and for a few years during his marriage he banded hawks, falcons, and even eagles for the state.  It helped in research to determine flight patterns, propagation of the species, etc.  We had at one time a Great Horned Owl in our home (Ozzie), a Red Tailed Hawk (Peanut), and a Sparrow Hawk (Birdo) that were raised there.  It’s kinda cool to remember watching cartoons and the bird would hop down off of their perch and come watch them with you.  They were in black and white in the 70’s in those days and fascinated the birds.1398390_10201050841059170_309532870_o

My father was brilliant.  He went to school for many years, could have been a teacher or a professor with all the courses he took.  I even heard he was only a few courses shy of being a zoologist.  He was also a dreamer.  Always one to say how he missed out on some chance to make millions.  Always my mother’s fault because she just wouldn’t ‘let’ him spend the money.

With five living children to his credit, being the youngest gives me a different perspective.  When Dad went through his mid-life crisis and bought a brand new firebird, I was sixteen and got to drive it, much to my sibling’s dismay.  After all, Dad didn’t let them drive it…they had moved on and out by then.  Being the youngest though, and a girl, I was frequently ignored.  I didn’t mind.  I lived a good childhood.  As a tom-boy he frequently disparaged me.  I became invisible to him if I could as he was also abusive, both mentally and physically.  I didn’t know any better though; he was, after all, the only father I knew.  Mom intervened as much as she possibly could and I soon learned to emulate her and her ignoring of slights.

Mom tried to divorce Dad once when I was six years old.  He went to all the neighbors to get them to agree that she was a ‘bad’ mother, not because he wanted custody, but so he could put us in foster care.  Mom soon realized that she could never afford to raise the five of us on her own financially so she reconciled with him until I was seventeen and graduating early from high school.  For Christmas that year she had him served with divorce papers, he couldn’t do anything about it.  I found it kind of amusing, my mother’s timing, but then she had a wonderful sense of humor.

I didn’t talk to my father for many years after I left college for California.  I had nothing to say to him really.  We had nothing common.  He never gave me a compliment that I recall.  Never praised me for buying a house at nineteen, starting a business at twenty-two, having two children, etc.  I was a non-entity as far as he was concerned, mainly because I was female.  Women were only good for a few things in his world.  Sad really because so many people found him to be charming, and at home he wasn’t, only to ‘his’ public friends.

I’m certain my brothers have a different perspective of the man we all call Dad.  It’s sad really as it became a girls against the boys type of household.  Mom tried, she really did to make it fair, but with my Dad causing strife and favoritism, she tried to compensate with her girls.

For years I didn’t discuss my father but I didn’t want to hate him either.  I did for a while.  I grew up and got over it though.  I don’t remember a lot of the abuse or the reasons why I hated him.  Instead I learned to forget, to ignore, and to try to be an adult about the situation.  Visiting him I realized what a sad man he really was, pathetic, and alone.  All due to his own personality quirks.  I would never be someone he would be ‘proud’ of so I quit trying.  When visiting I was treated badly, subjected to his misogynistic behavior, and when I saw he began to share things with my sons who were too young to experience those things, I stopped visiting.  One should not talk about or share porn with pre-teen young men; sorry I do draw a line at that.  I was incredulous that he would even have to be told not to do that.

So, for a charming man, who everyone though was so grand, I’m not sorry to say good-bye.  He has been gone for a long time.  At least for me.  He was never there.  I am sorry for the human condition, the dementia, the Alzheimer’s that robbed him of his mind, but I have to believe that part of that was fate, perhaps karma.  I don’t hate him anymore, I haven’t in years.  The indifference though says it all.

Good Bye Dad, it’s too bad you will never know what an AWESOME kid I was, and what a WONDERFUL woman I became.  It’s too bad in your self-indulgence you couldn’t have seen what you were doing wrong, the attempts that were made to bridge the gap, the adult relationship I tried to forge.  I don’t ‘forgive’ you for your behavior, instead, I just feel nothing and that is even more sad.

New Release: BLOWN AWAY

Blown Away 1000

Don’t judge a book by its cover!  Nothing, and no one, is EVER what they seem.

Ellen Christenson escapes from an abusive life, but does one ever escape the scars that are left on their soul?  One must move on, one must try.  But life has a tendency to circle back to what one once knew and she finds her life choices bring her back to the scenes of her abuse, to deal with it finally and fully, in ways she had never thought she would deal with.  It is then that the healing can begin, as she repairs her soul and the people she has devastated along the way.

Ellen hadn’t ‘intended’ to end up in Silicon Valley and its high tech world, but due to life and it’s circumstances she finds herself the head of a startup tech company.  Cool, calculating, efficient, she shows the world a side of her that she really isn’t, few if any know the real Ellen.  Nearby San Francisco provides her with plenty of girlfriends.  That elusive one, that soul mate, she has a hard time recognizing due to the scars within.

Living with the choice of letting someone die for their sins, for years, Ellen is ‘blown away’ by the feelings and emotions she has bottled up for so long….

E-BOOK & PAPERBACK!

imagesCAF5YLX0animated-gifs-books-80

Chapter 1 of BLOWN AWAY

Full Cover of BLOWN AWAY

CHAPTER ONE

REMEMBRANCES

She stared at the ruins of a once beautiful farm house and memories came, flashing back in an instant yet spanning years.  Over there once stood a beautiful pair of oak trees with a swing between them for her to play on.  She could still hear the echoes of her mother telling her to be careful as she climbed them.  Skinned knees and scraped palms; she never complained over the slivers her mother had to remove from her tomboyish activities.  Their shade provided her endless hours of escape from the relentless sun and still she would burn from it.  The wind would part the leaves and the sun would beat down between them.  Her imagination could play for hours as she gazed up through them, envisioning them as towering giants and she a mere mortal. She loved those trees.

“I can’t believe you climb like a monkey, and in a dress too!” her mother would scold.  She remembered that fondly, the inflections, the lilt in her voice was still in her consciousness despite the span of years.

The house still tilted haphazardly.  Weather and time hadn’t pulled it to the ground and for this she was surprised as she stared at its sturdy build.  Her great-grandparents had been among the first to build in this area and had used good wood and stone to construct their sturdy home.  Their son and granddaughter had both raised families in this house.  She scowled as she remembered she had been the last raised in this house.

It look well picked over.  The weeds around the place were elbow high and although she hadn’t seen it in over twenty years, she couldn’t help but wonder why it hadn’t been torn down before; which was why she was now here.

“Ms. Avril?” a voice asked her respectfully and she started in surprise.  She hadn’t heard anyone approach.  “Oh, I’m sorry miss, I was expecting…” he began apologizing.

“It’s okay, you just startled me,” she said in precise and clear tones, not a hint of the accent that was unique to this part of the country and so apparent in his voice.  That accent brought back other memories.  Ones she’d tried to quash and couldn’t.  Ones that she’d known needed exorcising, and that could only be done by coming here.  It was why she had come herself.  She needed to stop the dreams that had returned.  Her feeling was that it was in the past and it should remain there.  Her psyche though was haunting her and she had to face it, one last time.

“I was expecting Ms. Avril,” he began again, and peered at her intently and wondering who she was.  He was shorter than she, his skin brown from the winds that blew here; he was stooped from a lifetime of work.

She smiled, not realizing the beauty that was apparent in her face.  Her pale white skin hid the freckles that came out in the sun, but no tan touched her creamy milk white skin anymore.  “I’m A…Avril,” she answered hesitating over the name for only a millisecond. ‘Or, I was,’ she mentally corrected herself, but not aloud, he wouldn’t understand.

“You’re Ms. Avril?” he asked puzzled.  He peered at her for a long time shaking his head, trying to see some semblance of the youth he had known.  As her smile faded, he saw a glimmer of recognition.  Not of her but of her mother and that was when he took on a relieved look.  His hat came off his head in an instant and his weathered face wreathed a smile showing several missing teeth.  “Why Ms. Avril, you’ve all growed up!” he drawled, pleased at his discovery.

“How are you, Mr. Davidson?” she asked pleasantly. The smile didn’t quite reach her eyes though. Not with the memories pushing at her temples wanting her to remember, to relive them; all the while she was trying hard to once again suppress them.

“Poorly,” he said honestly.  “Right poorly, but I aim to do the job you is needing done.  I shorely do.  Just like I promised.”  He gestured to the truck that was parked at the end of the drive.  On the trailer attached to it sat a front end loader, securely chained to its bed.

She glanced at it, then back at the house he had come to demolish.  It was the town’s attempt at getting rid of an ‘eyesore’ that had sat there empty for over two decades.  Why they had decided that it needed to be done now, she didn’t know.  But she was here, as requested, to get it done.  Mr. Davidson had answered her call, surprised that she remembered him.  He was eager to earn the money she had promised him for the job.

“Do you want to go through the house to look for anything?” he asked, as he noticed her silently staring at the house.

She shook her head.  She had done her picking long ago, her few belongings in a few measly boxes and trunks, and a storage unit she had come to go through as well, a lifetime of memories and knick knacks that meant nothing to anyone but herself.  “Just bulldoze it,” she said shortly, wanting it taken care of so she could leave.

“You’ll have to move your car,” he mentioned, as they turned to head back down the driveway.

She glanced at the Maserati and nearly laughed aloud at the contrast between it and his old rusted out Chevy.  She hadn’t thought of that when she decided to drive back here.  If she hadn’t before, she would surely stick out like a sore thumb now.  Another reason to get the job finished and get out, get gone.  Something she had done years ago and not looked back.  She glanced over at the barns and silos.  They still looked as solid as the day her great-grandparents and grandparents had built them.  Nothing had touched them, not time, nor weather, they seemed to be as strong and steady as the day they were built.  They could use a little paint, but with the weather that came through this part of the country it was amazing they were still standing.  She could see they were used well by the tracks that led from the path up to them and down the driveway, but that was all.  Everything else was abandoned, the chicken coop, and a few other outbuildings.  The grass overgrown and obviously untrodden, no animals or people to grind it under their heels.

“Can you tear down those too?” she asked as she gestured to the outbuildings not in use.

“Ahyup,” he grunted as they reached her overpriced car and she automatically pressed the button on her keychain to open the door and let her in.  He glanced at the car as the door opened quietly and on its own for her, expensive enough to pay a couple of year’s salary to someone like him, and most folks around here.  It was none of his business though so he hurried over to the trailer where another man stood, awaiting orders.  “Let’s get her down,” he gestured to him, and they immediately began removing the chains holding the machine to the bed of the trailer.

The younger man kept watch out of the corner of his eye as the redhead drove the expensive sports car onto the road.  She parked it opposite the driveway so they could drive the front end loader onto the property.  She was definitely worth a second and third look and he wondered if she remembered him as she watched his uncle maneuver the heavy machine off the trailer.  She caught him staring as she got out of the car and he felt his cheeks reddening. He hurried after his uncle to collect any boards worth salvaging hoping she hadn’t noticed.  She had said they could take whatever they wanted.

She followed along slowly and looked down at her Prada shoes knowing she should have dressed down for the farm, but after twenty years she had nothing appropriate to wear on such a place.  She hadn’t thought about it as the miles passed and she headed for this part of Oklahoma.

COMING SOON!

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