Hot, Cross, Buns


So, a friend recommended that I get more Vitamin D for my aches and pains in my joints.  I’m EXTREMELY white and pale so getting a bit of sun was in order.  Of course the idea didn’t come to fruitation during summer where the nice hot sun would have taken care of it for me, naturally (for free).  So I decided to go use the tanning salon this week.  Before you all tell me how bad that is for me, I know, I don’t care though.  Meanwhile I went in to see my options at the salon.  Boy they have advanced in the last ten years since I did this.

Anyway, the first day I could see a noticeable difference after only seven minutes in the bed.  A distinct tan line around my hairline.  Nice right?

I could feel a bit of skin tightening but I have this marvelous lotion from Switzerland that works wonderfully and solved that problem since it contains collagen.

Day two I noticed no difference which was kind of disappointing.  Was hoping for something a bit more miraculous like instant release of aches and pains from this Vitamin D thing.  No go.

Day three we decided to vamp it up a little and go to EIGHT minutes.  Well this day had the most significant ‘difference.’  Now perhaps I should have explained that laying in the tanning bed, naked, means that EVERYTHING is exposed to get the full rays.  Yep, that does mean EVERYTHING.  And yes, I burnt my bum.  I didn’t realize I’d burnt my bum as I drove my motorcycle into downtown and went shopping at the mall.  My jeans felt a little odd that day but I ignored it and didn’t think anything of it until I got home and I began to itch.  I’m not talking all out scratching, but a bit of rubbing on the ole bum.  It took me hours (meanwhile the skin had time to set) to realize why I itched, I was quite red.  In both sets of cheeks when I noticed it.  And it’s a little bit sore I might add.  Nothing like having hot cross buns….0119_burnt_launch_splash-1

So day four came around and we (the figurative we, me, myself, and I, all three of us) decided to stay home and not go to the tanning beds.  The motorcycle rides today were decidedly uncomfortable.  Neither the satin undies (no commando with this) or the jeans against them prevented a distinctive ‘tightening’ on my skin.

Day five is tomorrow and I think this will be my last foray into this endeavor (depends on if the ‘deal’ I purchased gives out) but I think it’s been a lesson learned.

I just have to add this isn’t the first time I’ve burned my buns.  I’m a terrible cook.  And let’s not talk about the boobs….blisters 023

Shoe Tri-fecta

  1. a bet in which the person betting forecasts the first three finishers in a race in the correct order.
    • a run of three wins or grand events.
      “today is a trifecta of birthdays”

My search for the perfect ‘shoe’ began a year ago.  It was a casual (pun intended) thing that started innocently enough.  Seeing the pictures of what women were wearing at the GCLS in Dallas made me begin to really think about what I would wear to such events (I’m such a girl).  And of course what I wouldn’t wear (sorry but I just say NO to crocs 4917538858_a1b1b52338_z  (although I’m assured they are comfy and some LUV them).  So began my search for ‘Rainbow Shoes.’

Well, my first love was for the Nike Roshe Run Woven Rainbow.  nike-roshe-run-woven-rainbow-2  Imagine my dismay to find that they are hard to find or obtain.  I called a store in Los Angeles that supposedly had them in stock, in my size, and available to ship immediately (according to Nike and their stock indicator, which lied).  I found some with outrageous prices on the internet but I wasn’t willing to pay the hundreds of dollars they were asking for them.  So I decided to go with my second choice.
The second choice were the Asics New Balance Rainbow shoesnew-balance-rainbow-lightweight-neon-shoes-.-.  Again, they are hard to find and obtain.  I found one site that was ‘offering’ them as though at a ‘bargain’ for $700.  I don’t care if they were made of gold, I am NOT paying $700 for shoes that go on my feet, splash in and outta puddles (whether I see or notice the puddles is irrelevant) and will have my feet sweating in them at some time or another.
My third choice, which I didn’t even know WAS my choice were Nike Air Footscape Woven Motion Mult-Multi Rainbow.Nike-Air-Footscape-Motion-Woven-Chukka-Rainbow-Black-at-mita-1-600x337

Now I kinda dig these because one, they are in basic black (they go with EVERYTHING), two they have that funky rainbow woven around them, and three, LOOK at that funky way the laces go up them as well!

In my year long search for number one and number two I didn’t do it daily, just randomly when the ‘urge’ to be stylin’ hit me (I suppress this urge as often as possible).  But, I decided I ‘needed’ at least ONE pair of Lesbian Rainbow Shoes for ‘events’ that might come up where I want to make a ‘shoe statement.’
Imagine my ‘delight’ in finding not one but TWO of the three Shoe Tri-fecta’s on a website out of England.  I placed my order IMMEDIATELY.  I’m a little concerned about the conversion of dollars to pounds, and US sizes of shoes vs UK sizes of shoes.  I ended up with a pair of mens sizes six and a half  (they weren’t AVAILABLE in womens! and besides that’s a blog for another time) which translates to my womens size eight and half (or so I’ve found).  The other pair came in women’s size eight and half and I’m thrilled.  They charged my credit card so quick my head was spinning (or maybe that was because I actually found them at all?)!  And, because I bought them over seas, no tax, and they were HALF the price I was willing to pay for one pair so I got the two different pair!  Two days later I get an email acknowledging the order for both pairs only to find out the Nike Roshe Run Woven Rainbow, which were SO HARD to obtain were out of stock, sigh.  They assured me the Nike Air Footscape Woven Motion Mult-Multi Rainbow would be shipped promptly.  Here is my concern, I can’t FIND their website again (it doesn’t work) AND they do not respond to my emails!  Now I CAN get my money back on my credit card of course but I’m gonna have to wait a week or two for then to at least have time to actually deliver the one pair of shoes.  Sigh.  I’ll let ya all know if you inbox me on social media if they arrived.
Meanwhile, back at the mall.  I found option TWO in a little different color but close enough that I snapped those babies up.IMG_20141010_154451
So now, I’ve got one pair in my hands, ready to wear, they are made for Tri-atheletes…you can run in them, you can SWIM in them, and I have no idea what the third event would be, it’s a toss up between biking and walking.  Just so everyone knows, if you see me running, you better run too because it means something is up!  Also, the cool thing that she casually mentioned is that these GLOW IN THE DARK, can’t wait to find out if that is true!
I have large wide feet which are PERFECT for swimming (if you had webbed feet) that I inherited from my flat-footed father (say THAT three times fast).  I can add arches to most shoes to keep my feet from hurting but personally I prefer boots anyway.  These ‘casual’ shoes I hope you all notice are my contribution to perpetuating the myth that lesbians are fabulous.
Also, the funky shoe laces I intend to order are on my wish list on Amazon.  The saleswoman suggested I buy rainbow knee highs, I was appalled, after all, I don’t want to go OVERBOARD!

When ‘Good Friends’ go ‘Bad’

A few years ago I was attracted to someone here on Facebook.  She was pretty, intelligent, and a go-getter….or so I thought.  When we first started speaking about 2-3 years ago she let me know that I was too negative for us to have a relationship.  As a result of many conversations including skype with this woman I changed my approach and ‘negativity’ towards what we would speak about.  She actually taught me to always have an alternative idea to anything she suggested that I ‘shot down.’  I took her ‘criticisms’ and turned it into a positive thing.  I did not have hopes of dating her anymore, I’d moved on.  I became a good friend.  I put her links up on my blog, my website(s) (both of them) and in consideration for anyone who signed up for her motivational courses I would receive a ‘commission’ for the referral from my sites.  I never received a commission and when I asked about that she had ‘no knowledge’ about any such referrals and didn’t even ‘know’ (when I had asked her in the first place for the links to the referral program which SHE GAVE me) that I had put up on my site(s).

Okay, my bad.  I got ‘took.’  For my knowledge, my ‘expertise’ in business (after all I ran companies for 25 years), and for me being a ‘friend’ to this person.  It happens.  It’s Facebook.  But I had been her friend outside of Facebook too and I was a little hurt.

A while later she approached me about writing a book for her motivational programs.  She first wanted me to write about a woman who ‘succeeded’ because she had taken this persons courses.  I wrote a few pages but she edited them to death as it wasn’t the story she wished to tell.  I gave up soon after that one and suggested she write it herself.  During THIS discussion she felt I should change the name of my company as she didn’t ‘understand’ the name of Shadoe for the publishing company and felt her lofty and monied ‘friends’ wouldn’t understand it and think it was a typo.  I explained what it meant and that I was NOT changing my company name JUST for her.

Meanwhile, I had asked her during the course of our friendly conversations, again through skype, phone, and inboxes on Facebook, to help me edit a novella.  She wanted to go over the book line by line and consider each and every nuance of it.  We got through maybe five or six pages before my frustration had us stopping the exercise.  Then she decided she wanted to be paid $1000 for editing a 30 page novella.  I ended that discussion too.

Then she tried a new tactic.  She wanted me to put into each and every book I sold a link to her programs of motivational speaking.  I listened to each and every one of her ‘tapes’ on the internet and found them BORING and not worth the monies she supposedly gets for them.  I turned the tables on her and asked how much she was willing to pay to do that, I meant put them in my books, and she quickly backed off.  I think she believed I was clueless about how she wanted something for nothing.

Next she decided we should have a get-a-way where she would charge people $1000-$2000 and go to a resort, somewhere warm in February.  In exchange these people would get me and a couple of other authors to meet in person and she would talk with them about her agenda.  She was certain we would make $20,000 each.  I had to point out to her that several of her destination choices were NOT GLBT friendly and we could all be arrested for even going to them as Lesbians!  Again, that pesky negativity coming through. When it came down to it though it was just another one of her money making schemes and nothing came to fruitation of it

A while later we had again started chatting and she was telling me how she had made so much money for people who took her courses (a familiar theme) and she knew so many people willing to invest in GLBT programs and ideas.  I put her in contact with a friend of mine who wished to make a GLBT movie since I knew she NEEDED funds to make it happen.  She not only got in contact with my friend, she tried to take it over.  She got the other friend to change the name of the movie.  She wouldn’t skype with the friend and it ended up costing the friend over $70 in phone charges!  Then she had the audacity to try and charge the friend for her ‘consulting.’  She also then had the audacity to ask to be named ‘Producer’ on the film.  The friend has written the book, written the screenplay, done all the steps to get this movie made and this person should step in at the last minute and try all these tactics to make it ‘hers?’  I didn’t of course find out about this for many months and nearly lost a friend because of this.

Now I am not clueless and this all happened over many, many, months.  Some of it I found out later.  After this last incident though I had to question WHY I would even put up with this person as a friend as any of you reading this would too.  I limited my interactions with her.  I researched her background only to find out some of what she had told me about her was a bit ‘off’ shall we say, a questionable background of distorted facts.

I found her behaviors, after years of observance to be self-motivated.  What could I do FOR her?

She has always been one of those on Facebook who tags you for every little thing she puts on her timeline that has her ‘selling’ one of her agendas.  I removed myself time and again.  Recently she started going into lesbian fiction groups and posting for people’s opinions on her covers to her supposed book that she is writing…again the motivational BS with a new idea.

While I applaud her dedication to her agenda, it is an agenda.  If she, as she claims has motivated over 2,000,000 to join a group on Facebook…then why doesn’t her ‘program’ support her?  Why does she move every couple of months for various reasons from homophobia, to supposed abuse, to supposed observance of a crime?  There is always a reason.  There is always another move.  IF her ‘program’ was successful like she says then she would make the money and not need to ride on someone else’s coat-tails.

Recently I removed her from my Lesbian Fiction group because she kept posting the same boring covers for opinions.  Spamming as it were.  We got complaints.  We also got inboxed by other admins of other Lesbian Fiction groups that complained about the same thing and warned us.

I had chosen since the incident with the film to ‘ignore’ her on Facebook but her behaviors had increased.  Today she tried another tactic, the same old bull with a new face, AGAIN (I have removed HER name for the sake of anonymity here):


If you had tons of funding to make a difference for LGBT community and for yourself, what would you do? I have a dream to raise $1,000,000,000 for LGBT facebook group admins, activists, creative artists and charities through my free LGBT-friendly affiliate program. Want more info?


K’Anne Meinel

No thank you





Can I ask why?


K’Anne Meinel

I’d also like it if you would stop tagging me on your posts





K’Anne Meinel

And no you may not ask why



Unsmiling Emoticon Image


K’Anne Meinel

So you unfriended me over this, that’s a bit petty

I’ve supported you for years, helped you even, this is the ‘thanks’ you give people like that

s m h


K’Anne Meinel


Not ONCE in the YEARS I have known you have you shown any support. Posting about my books, or even READING them. It’s all been about NAME WITHELD and what everyone else can do for you to make your dreams come true. You come across as wanting to help others but it’s all about you making money. How sad is that?


After this she blocked me on Facebook, whew, close call right, lol.  She is now inboxing others to ‘gather her posse’ of course and see that she did nothing wrong.  What she did wrong was USE me and others.  She used our contacts to make more contacts to use them too.

Well, that’s the end of this but I hope those of you who ‘spot’ who this is are warned.  Those of you who will hear her ‘boo hoo’ story that a lesfic author ‘turned’ on her have both sides, and those of you who think this is just MORE lesbian drama like it IS, can shrug it off as I intend to do so.

In my defense, yes I was interested in her.  Yes, I let her know.  She turned me down.  I got that but still managed to remain friends, or so I thought.  That was YEARS ago and I got over it.  I would never be vindictive about my interest in her and getting turned down.  I guess as a few real friends have told me, I’m just too nice.  I refuse to allow her to get away with this without my side being told.  I have not named her here but if you choose to inbox me I will discuss it.  I felt publically shaming her served no purpose and while I do not believe in her ‘programs’ or agenda, I refuse to be vilified over this.  I wish her well.

Right to Die

Recently I read a story of a woman ‘fighting’ for the RIGHT TO DIE.

I think a lot of people might have problems with this issue just for the fact that the woman is only twenty nine years old.  Yes, she is young, yes her family has to deal with her death so soon, and yes it should be her choice.

The Right to Die issue is only approved in a few states in the United States including Oregon, Vermont, and Washington.  In the state of Montana it is allowed but only after it is court ordered, that is, you have to SUE for the right to have a doctor help you die.  For her to be ‘allowed’ to die she had to move from California where it is not allowed but to Oregon where she could obtain a pill for when she is ready which meant she had to uproot her life, find new doctors, and her husband had to take a leave of absence from his job.  This prescription which is allowed to only a few patients, for those who are terminally ill, is prescribed for those who choose to end their life with dignity.

Dying with dignity is a funny thing.  It isn’t about depression which a lot of people assume.  It’s about ending the pain in your body, ending the pain so you can go onto something better.  Family members and even those who know nothing about the issue weigh in on this.  Sometimes out of fear of loss, sometimes out of ignorance.

Personally I believe in the right to die with dignity.  You might ask WHY?  I knew a thirty four year old woman who went through horrible and experimental chemotherapy.  The pain this woman had to go through, psychological and physical was excruciating.  She chose to go through it though for the sake of her young children.  She survived, but the residual pain that this woman lives with every day of her survival can be a little overwhelming.  She maintains her dignity with humor and ignoring the pain.  The doctors tell her that she has a high tolerance for pain, that doesn’t solve the problems, the aches in joints and muscles just exists in her ‘young’ body, even though the chemo aged it by at least twenty years beyond her chronological age.  Someday, it might be time to make that choice and I believe she should have that choice.  Not just because of the extreme pain that one has to endure, but because someday the alternative of living is just too hard and what is in the beyond is more tenable.

This one young woman’s story that I have included above I understand, I agree with her.  While the tragedy of her death is that she is merely twenty nine, the family having to go on without her is even more tragic.  Having to deal with that loss is overwhelming but keeping her, in pain, in agony, is selfish.

The reason I post this is because I was the thirty four year old woman I mention here.  Thirteen years later I deal daily with the residual effects of chemotherapy and radiation.  The chemotherapy took my waist length hair, that grew back.  The radiation took my thyroid, I take a pill every day for the rest of my life called levothyroxine.  Recently they changed the manufacturer of this pill; it causes me to gain weight.  Yes, I probably could lose the weight through physical activity, but the pain in my joints and muscles is such that that kind of activity causes more pain.  I should really invest in the companies that make ibuprofen.  I’m one of those that has to take 1000mg at a time for it even to be effective.  Yes, I know that you should NEVER take more than 2400mg’s in a day.  The reason for this is you can cause irreparable harm to your liver and perhaps your kidneys.  I’m very well aware of that as I developed a fatty liver (not from the ibuprofen), which has since gone away.  I do not take my ibuprofen every day, just for the simple fact that you build up a tolerance for it and I have to ‘endure’ my pain.  My doctor could prescribe pain meds, but I hate taking pills.  The thought of being a little ‘dulled’ to the pain, building up residual tolerance to the meds, that does not appeal to me.  I will not and have never been a drug seeking patient.  I’m very well aware of my ‘health’ choices and how lucky I am to be here.  But someday, it might be too much.  And not out of depression or impulse, but a right to die with dignity, I would like to make my choice as I did when I decided to pursue the experimental treatment that saved my young life.

I don’t tell you this for your sympathy.  I know it’s an amazing story and it’s mine.  But I want you think, really think, about what if it was you.  Wouldn’t you like the choice to alleviate the pain, to choose your manner of death rather than wait for it?  Why make those you are going to leave behind suffer while they watch you die?  I like the idea of letting people have choices.  I’m not talking ‘let’s kill all the elderly’ or euthanasia.  I’m talking those who know they are going to die, let them make the choice of when.

When it’s my time to die, and I kinda dig that I might get the choice, let me die with dignity.

New business cards

Business Card #1Certified Lesbian Membership CardCertified Butch Lesbian Membership Card - CopyCertified Boi Lesbian Membership Card - Copy

Well my sense of humor got the better of me and I just HAD to make these latter three.  Now I feel like they are all ‘dressed up and no where to go.’  I know there are people out there who will love having their ‘lesbian’ or ‘butch’ or ‘boi’ cards to certify they are ‘members’ but I can’t in good conscience charge for these, so I’m working on the website to find a way to send them out with signed books.  Meanwhile if you see me at an event, please feel free to ask if I have my membership card with me and I’ll comp you one…lol

Don’t want THIS to happen to YOU!Lesbian Membership Card RevokedWebsite

Sapphic Surfer as a PAPERBACK!

Sapphic Surfer Cover 2

Well, it took MORE than a year.  Between hiring an artist to ‘help’ and ending up doing it myself and the various things in between we FINALLY have SAPPHIC SURFER out as a Pocket Paperback!  I just LOVE this artwork and I played with it until I felt it was ‘good’ enough for paperback.  For under $10 it’s a great little read!

Can a virgin such as Ashley cope with the feelings that are building inside her for the famous surfer?  Can a Midwestern girl with all the morals and hang-ups ingrained in her overcome them to actually enter into a Sapphic romance with this woman?

Ashley is a Midwestern girl who is enjoying “the life” in Southern California.  She is living her dream.  She learns to surf, a lifelong dream that wasn’t possible in Illinois.  Now she meets professional surfer Willow Samuels who becomes a good friend to her.  How good a friend isn’t really apparent until she realizes there is a mutual attraction. 

Ashley is conflicted when she realizes she is having feelings for her famous friend Willow.  When Willow makes a pass at her she realizes that her friend is gay and attracted to her. How can she overcome a lifetime of ethics and values that just might destroy the happiness that Willow offers her?



Out Of The Mist ~ The Secret

Featured Image -- 1062

Originally posted on Dawn E Carter:

out of the mist. book cover

Just released

Available on Amazon




What happens when two women, from different worlds collide? 

Jordan Watkins, self-assured, successful attorney, who trusts no one, dates often but believes it is not in her genes to have a successful relationship. All that changes when she meets and falls for Angela Gratace, who is still discovering her identity.

Angela did not mind being alone, it came with the territory she had learned in her youth. Keeping to herself was the best option. But, that was before Jordan Watkins walked into her office, and into her heart, turning everything Angela believed in upside down.

Thrown into a whirlwind of emotions, Angela is now faced with the dilemma of having to admit she is not only attracted to the young successful attorney, but also women. Struggling with her identity, Angela questions if she is gay, straight or bi-sexual, or…

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